Listen to your Father

Family/Spouse

One of my goals is to prepare a question and answer book for my child(ren).  I've been working on this throughout the year and I don't really have a deadline to finish it.  The questions are very good and address just about every stage of my life.  Here are a couple:

• What Childhood Experiences do you feel shaped you the most?
• Describe your childhood neighborhood
• What is your favorite way to spend a day of leisure?

In addition to the questions in the book I added another section.  This section addresses the most significant areas of our lives and my advice for each category.  The following is a list of the areas where I give advice and some things, but not all, that I want remembered:

Random things that I always want you to remember

My child, here is a list of things that I have learned over my years. Just because I have listed these things to remember, I do not want you to think that I mastered them.  Everything you do in your life can be placed in one these areas; The Faith, Relationships, Career, Health, Personal Finance, When looking for a spouse, Intellectual, miscellaneous.  

  The Faith

§              8but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 

            Romans 5:8 English Standard Version (ESV) <This is the Gospel in a "nutshell."  When the understanding of the faith becomes difficult, return to this. 

• Try to study the Word every day.  Your study doesn’t need to be an hour long.  Our days are very hectic.  Therefore, try reading a chapter or two from the Bible daily if you are really short on time.  Maybe review the readings for the next Sunday. Always remember, this in an extremely important part of your day.
• Everyone goes about his or her faith life differently.  Focus on yours and be careful not to judge others, for you never know what is going on in their private life.
• It is 8.28.2011.  As I write this, your mother is getting ready for church and you are watching Thomas the Tank engine.  I look over at you and realize that you may walk away and even deny the faith in your teens and 20’s.  I did in my 20’s and I will always have regrets about my life away from the Lord.  However, I always remember His Presence during those times.  He never left me and He will never leave you.
• Beware of old philosophies that are disguised as new.  Your college professors and some of your friends want your mind and want to convince you that you are a simpleton for believing in your Christ.  Instead of getting mad at them, pray for them, for they are only doing what unbelievers do.

Your Country

• The United States of America is the greatest country ever.  We are not great because of our wealth, for it is only a result of what truly makes us great – it is our freedom.  When I say “freedom” I am saying that freedom means we have the ability and obligation to do what is right.  We however, never have the freedom to choose the wrong.
• If you see a soldier and have an opportunity, thank this person for their service to our great country. Don't' forget to thank their husband or wife as well.  They were supporting the soldier at home while  the soldier was off protecting our country. 
• Whenever you are in attendance at an event where the National Anthem is playing, put your right hand over your heart and be quiet.  Consider the blessings this county affords to you and all that went before us to win and secure them.  

Relationships / Your neighbor / Your parents/ 

• Your name and honor is worth more than any amount of money.  Protect it with all of your might. Just look at the last paragraph of the Declaration of Independence to see proof of the importance of your name. 
    And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.
• At a certain age you will see your parents as they really are; imperfect people.  Love them anyway.  Don’t forget, you will probably be a parent one day yourself.
• If someone is serving you, treat them with the highest amount of dignity and respect. I don’t care if you become a celebrity or the President.  Everyone has value and nobody is beneath you. The Christ that died for your sins, died for theirs as well.
• Be humble but not a pushover.  
• Imitate Christ.

Your Career

• When you are facing a problem that requires your supervisor’s assistance, come to him or her with what you think is the solution. Your grandfather taught me this. 
• It has been said, “If you help people get what they want, they will give you what you want.”
• Never forget, in your career you are serving someone.  It’s a high calling to be in the service of another.  
• Currently, business people are considered the “bad guys.”  If you think about it, most business is done in an ethical manner.  
• Today we were watching trains - your favorite things at this moment - move freight.  I got to thinking about it and if you were older I would ask you this question, "What do you see here? Do you see trains, freight, and tracks only?"  I would tell you that I see "trust."  Someone first trusted before anything was started.  Therefore, you see, business in someways, is a spiritual exercise. Trust is paramount to doing good business.  

Health

• Try to work out a couple of times weekly.  Even if it’s a light work out, it’s good to get movin’.
• Don't ever do drugs, ever!  Contrary to what many believe, marijuana usually leads to other drug use.  I have seen this up close and personal with people I know.  

  Personal Finances

•  God owns it all. You are just a manager.  “Be diligent with the little things…..”
•  Stay away from all debt except in some ways a mortgage and if that mortgage is less than 25% of your monthly take home pay.
•  Consumer debt and not budgeting is one of the main reasons why the middle class is broke.  It took me well into my 30’s to understand this.  For validation of this, read The Millionaire Next Door. 
• These days, everyone wants to rely on the government to fix his or her life.  You are responsible for your life.  Yes, the government can help, but you have all the tools to make a life for yourself.  Don’t’ become a slave to the government with low expectations of yourself and your country.  This is the United States of America and you have the opportunity to become a success in your own way. 
• Be a cheerful giver.  That means all of yourself; time, talent, and treasure. 
• Cash is "king."
• Have an emergency fund of 3-6 months of monthly expenses.

When looking for a spouse and how to treat this person 

•  Look for character first, not a “character.”
• Remember, beauty on the outside is not the same as inner-beauty.  I remember a story about your beautiful mother that illustrates this - she has both.  On our wedding day your mother noticed that the photographer wasn't going to eat and that a place wasn't made for her to sit at a table.  Your mom found a table with some of our friends for her and asked the waiter to bring her a plate.  
• If faith is – and it better be – important to you, don’t marry someone from outside your denomination.  I know this is a hard lesson.  However, if you get involved with someone of a different faith or denomination, there will be many problems ahead. Don’t hope that this person will magically come around. Yes, there are times that it has worked, but it will be an enormous challenge.  Marriage is under assault today, don't add to it.  

Intellectual/Self Improvement

• Make goals; short term and long term.  Most people don’t, therefore, they know exactly where they are going.
• Become a reader.  It has been said that leaders are readers.  

Misc.

• If you want self esteem, do something. If you fail at it, good!  That is how we learn.  You earn self esteem, it is not given to you.
• Watch your passions - especially your appetites.  Make sure they don’t control you.  Stay disciplined in your thinking.
• When trying to make a decision or after you made a bad decision, always ask yourself, "What is the real reason why I did it like that?"  Know yourself......

This is just a start for me and I'm certain to add to it as the years go by.  If you have any suggestions, even funny ones, please feel free to send them to me.  I can still remember my dad saying, "Remember, only guppies eat their young."  How about this timeless one, "It's colder out there than a well digger's..."  Now my favorite, "Son remember the family motto; don't let the bastards grind you down." See, I still remember what my father said.  

Ok, so I Will Stop it...

All Goals


A couple of weeks ago I posted an article from Jim Collins that dealt with goals.  This article pointed out that we should not only have goals that we want to achieve, but have goals of things that we want to stop or avoid.

I pointed out in that earlier entry that there are certain habits, traits, and ways of thinking that hinder us from achieving our goals.  With that in mind, here are a few things that I want to stop in 2012:

1. The Internet
Stop wasting so much time surfing for no reason.  This is not a very efficient use of my time.

2. Stop trying to focus on too many goals
Keep it simple in all areas where I'm trying to achieve short term goals.

3. Eliminate negative thoughts about myself.
"Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right." Henry Ford

4. Stop doing tasks that my coordinator can take care of for me.  
I have a new assistant.  However, there are too many times that I keep certain tasks on my desk.  I need to trust more in order to free up my time to chase after more income producing activities.

5. Stop focusing too much on the end game and more on the "ride" and journey. 

 "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." F. Bueller

6. Stop letting decisions and attitudes of others and my company affect my outlook.

I can only control what I think.  There is only so much that I can influence in others.  Just the other day I listened to a negative person at work whine (there is a much better word I want to use here) about the old days.  That dude just stole :15 minutes of my day and I let him!

7. Stop staying up if I'm tired.
It's probably a more efficient use of my time to go to bed when I'm tired instead of "working" on something.  Granted, there are times when I'm tired at 8:00.  That's a little too early to hit the sheets and I will probably get a second wind anyway.  However, when 10:30 rolls around and I'm tired - GO TO BED!

8. Stop making short term decisions that impede long term results.
That sounds like some corporate-speak, and quite frankly it is.  It does make sense both personally and professionally.  I'm trying to think of a good example and all I can think of is the Debt Crisis of 2008.  Many financial institutions focused on short term profits at the expense of their credit quality.  As a result, many long time historic institutions crashed.

Well, I only came up with eight things thus far.  I should probably have ten items like every other list, but I quit doing that last year.

A Locker Room Talk

The Faith


"Gentlemen, this is a football."  With these words Coach Lombardi takes his players back to basics.  "Dearly beloved of the Lord, this is the Catechism." With these words our pastor brings us back to basics.

I don't remember exactly when it happened, but I wasn't impressed with an answer I gave to someone who asked me about the faith.  From my less than stellar response and most recently feeling that I was growing dull in the faith, I decided that I need to get back to basics.  What better place to start than the Lutheran Catechism.

Every morning after my study of a portion of Genesis - one that has seemed to take a very long time - I dive into the study of our church's doctrine.  Currently I'm in the commandments and between them there is usually a lesson on the Divine Service as well.

When you can't push the ball past the goal line, your line is breaking down, and you can't make a tackle, get back to basics.

First Things First

Career


A couple of weeks ago while advancing in my goal to read an article that discusses my vocation, I came across this quote:


Herb Kelleher
"Years ago, business gurus used to apply the business school conundrum to me: 'Who comes first? Your shareholders, your employees, or your customers?' I said, 'Well, that's easy,' but my response was heresy at that time. I said employees come first and if employees are treated right, they treat the outside world right, the outside world uses the company's product again, and that makes the shareholders happy. That really is the way that it works, and it's not a conundrum at all."
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/5693896


While reading this I was expecting him to say that the customer comes first.  I was greatly taken back when  he said the employee comes first.  What a novel concept!  Everything I have read about business, management, or customer service leads to this concept even if they don't say it directly.

After reading this I was blunt enough to ask the director of my group the question that was asked of Herb.  The director pondered it for a good long while.  I don't blame this person if for not trying to answer the question right away.  However, after we went on with our conversation about the organization and what our values are, it became increasingly apparent that it is in fact the employee that should come first.  Amazing!

With this in mind, anytime I interview for a position at another institution or talk to a client about their business, I will always remember what is most important.

Not Nice to Point?

Family


You probably remember an earlier post where I stated that one of my goals was to prepare a "Father" book for my child(ren).  This book is in a question and answer format that allows the author to explain who they are, where they came from, and what they hold near and dear.

I was writing an entry recently and thought about something I taught my child.  Back when she just started talking I would ask her, "Who loves you?"  In turn, she would always point back to me.  From time to time I still do this with her and most of the time she still points back at me.

I'm sure this will probably fall out of favor as she grows older.  However, it will probably make a magical appearance when she becomes a mom and thinks back fondly of the little "game" her father used to play with her.


 I can also imagine the tough times she will face and many of those times without me being there for her.  In those times when she wishes someone would ask her, "Who loves you?", hopefully she will point to the One on the cross+; that is my goal. 

I said, "Stop It!"

All Goals


At the end of  this year I've been thinking about what I have accomplished, what I have left undone, and what I should focus on next year.  After reading the attached article, I think I'm going to add a new goal category; Things that I need to stop doing.

When we establish our goals we decide what we want to accomplish.  However, many times we are our own worst enemy in trying to accomplish them.  Therefore, the need for a new type of goal category.

I have an idea of what I want to stop doing - how about you?

http://www.jimcollins.com/article_topics/articles/best-new-years.html

The Place

The Faith


At the Divine Service last weekend at church I thought of  something very personal and interesting about my church.  While standing there singing the Gloria, I was reminded of my wedding day.  Then from my wedding day I thought of all of the many times that something great happened in my life between these walls.  I was astounded at how much of my life took place at this holy site.

It was in 2001 that I decided to visit.  While listening to the Bible Answer Man, someone asked about joining a Lutheran Church.  The host asked, "Which one?"  The caller said something about Missouri and that stayed in my head as I am from Missouri.

I didn't know a soul when I walked in, but a man about my age changed that in seconds.  He asked me if I was by myself. I told him that I was and he offered to have me sit with his family.  I accepted his offer and to this day, I am very appreciative.

As the service began, I felt right at home.  I was brought up in a liturgical church and was greatly surprised that I knew what was going on.  I couldn't believe it!  I found my church home and it was that easy.  However, before drinking the Kool-aid, shaving my head, and learning the secret handshake, I thought I had better learn what they believe.

I started attending every Sunday and heard that they were going to have an adult information class that was about to start up. This class was to teach prospective members, as well as current members, what the church believes, teaches, and confesses.  Through the nine weeks, I came to understand that this church body was very conservative, liturgical, and firm in their stance on their doctrine as drawn from Holy Scripture.  That was all that I needed to know.  However, there was one potential problem.  I was single and wanted to meet my wife at church and there wasn't too many single people around my age. I told myself what mattered most was that the Word of God was taught correctly, the service was reverent, and that if God wanted me to be married, He would have to take care of it for me.  I laugh when I think back to that day when I decided to become a member.

After I became a member and attended for about a year, my parents became members.  I remember the day that they joined and kneeled down before the pastor as he prayed for them.  It was one of the most memorable things that I had ever witnessed.  Here are two people that I loved the most joining this place where the Gospel of our Lord was being proclaimed in all of it's glory - we are saved by His grace alone.

Years would go by as we attended services together.  One day after the service I said hello to a couple that I thought was visiting.  As it turned out, they had been attending an earlier service for awhile.  The following week I ran into them on the way out and the wife started asking me all kinds of personal questions; When did you graduate?  What do you do? Where did you attend school?  It was kind of odd, but they seemed nice enough.

A couple of Sundays later I looked across the aisle and there was a beautiful young lady sitting with these folks. I thought to myself, "Ah, she's way out of your league and is probably way too young for me."  I guess it didn't matter as the nice people introduced me to her that same day.

After I met that beautiful young lady we started dating and three months later I asked her to marry me.  Once again, this place would be the backdrop of the occasion as I asked her right in the middle of the sanctuary.  She said "Yes" and about six months later we were married in this same place.

About two years later my father passed away.  It was in this building that his relatives were comforted by the Gospel at his funeral.  After the service we laid his ashes in the memorial garden in the back of the church - where he had requested.

From death to new life.  A week after his funeral, we found out that we were pregnant.  One of the first places we visited after finding out was the memorial garden for it only seemed right.  On our way out we ran into our pastor and he pronounced God's blessing on our family and our unborn child.

The following year our child was born.  Once again we visited this holy place to discuss our child's Holy Baptism.  We suggested a date and our pastor said, "You know what date that is?"  I told him that I didn't and he reminded me that it was the anniversary of my father's passing.  That clinched it. Exactly one year to the date of my dad leaving this place to be our Holy Father, our little one received a Holy flood of blessed waters that welcomed her into the family of God.

As you can see, this is a place where life takes place.  It's a place where Heaven meets Earth, where God richly feeds us His Word and Body and Blood to strengthen our faith.  No wonder we love this place so much, for it feels like a foretaste of Home.

Thy strong Word did cleave the darkness;
At thy speaking it was done.
For created light we thank Thee
While thine ordered seasons run
Alleluia! Alleluia!
Praise to thee who light dost send!
Alleluia without end!

God the Father, light-creator,
To Thee laud and honor be.
To Thee, Light from Light begotten,
Praise be sung eternally.
Holy Spirit, light-revealer,
Glory, glory be to Thee.
Mortals, angels, now and ever
Praise the Holy Trinity!

Thy Strong Word by Martin H. Franzmann, 1969

Service with a Smile

Career


There are three ways to look at customer service:

1. Listen to the client and give them what they want
2. Listen to the client and give them what they need
3. Before they even ask, give the client what they didn't know they needed, didn't know existed,  and now can't live without.

All three are correct when it comes to providing customer/client service. The first proposition of giving clients what they want is correct.  However, if you just stop there, you are an order taker.  The second position, is a little better as you are building a relationship and actually caring about them after they leave your shop/office.  Now the third, well, that's tricky.  This premise is for relationship managers who want to provide the first two, but want to been seen in a different light as compared to their competition and take service to a higher level.

Number three is like Apple and their products compared to any other computer makers. Providing this type  of innovative service creates an identity for you, your products, and differentiates you from your competition.  This comes in handy especially when you work in an industry that is seen as a commodity.

This is where I have placed much of my focus in the last couple of years in my service to my clients.  It's difficult in the sense that I provide services for a financial institution that offers many of the same products as other institutions.  However, it's been more fun and creative to see how I can do this with my service which is intangible and not like someone who is offering a tangible product.

This method has me doing things that most of my competition doesn't do.

• I'm sending out "thank you for your business cards" to my clients on the anniversary of them becoming my client. 
•  I review my client list to find out whom I haven't spoken to in the last thee months. 
• Constantly setting reminders on my Blackberry to follow up with my clients.
• Before I call my client I will usually have an idea of something that will benefit him or her.  This happened recently when I checked on a client and asked them about refinancing.  He is closing on his loan next month and we were able to save him a couple of grand a year.  All of this from a simple phone call to see how he was doing. 
• My voice mail at my office is set up to notify me via an email when I have a message thereby allowing me to follow up as soon possible. 
• Continue reading and educating myself on trends that affect my clients.

The list goes on in my pursuit of providing innovative service to my clients.  Providing this level of client service is and always will be a moving target.

  

A Kind Word

Spouse/Family

It has been a difficult and stressful time for me and my family over the last three weeks.  There are times that I have felt that everything I touch or have touched turns to - pardon the expression -  crap.  I won't go into details, but it involves a robbery at our house and me purchasing our house before  I met my wife.

Sometimes in our darkest times a kind word will come our way that will lift our spirits.  That happened to me today at Toastmasters.  While I was in front of the group, another member was explaining to the prospective members the ice-breaker speech.  While explaining it to them, he referred to my speech that I gave two years ago.  For some reason he remembered me talking about how important my wife and child are to me.

Granted, he wasn't saying, "Al, you're a great father and husband." However, it felt like a glass of ice water on a hot day and it was just what I needed.  This wonderful observation by my fellow Toastmaster for a brief moment took away a great deal of the "crap" that I spoke of earlier.  

After I left the meeting I thought,  "If others know what means the most to me, maybe that means that I'm actually trying to live out the values I profess. More importantly, however, I hope my wife and child benefit from my actions although I don't get it 100% right all the time."  

Goin' Global

With Google Blogger I have the ability to see where my readers live.  I couldn't believe it when I found out that I have readers in The Netherlands, Germany, Malaysia, and Canada.  Thank you for reading about my  journey toward achieving my goals.

Please feel free to send me a message.  I would welcome the opportunity to meet you in Cyber space.  

Book 'em Dano

Self Improvement/ Intellectual


When I was in my early 20's I remember talking with my family about reading.  My mom and dad have always been very good readers, and to some extent my brother as well. However, in this conversation  I remember saying that I just didn't like sitting down with a book. Sure, I liked reading the newspaper and did so just about every morning. I think this was because articles are short, sweet, and to the point compared to books that develop a story or idea over many pages.

Here in the last couple of years all of this changed.  I'm not sure why, but I suspect that it has something to do with growing older and realizing that what I know is that I don't know.  With that, here are a few of my favorite books:

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
This is a classic in the "self help" genre.  Mr. Hill interviews successful businessmen of his time in order to find out what made them successful.  The title is a misnomer.


Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey
Learned much about managing my time and starting with the end in mind.  I use some of his exercises every day.


Thou Shall Prosper by Rabbi Daniel Lappin
The Rabbi is a cheerleader for the ethical business person.  This is just what we need in this day and age where if you are rich, it is believed that you ripped someone off, made it on the backs of the poor, or you didn't earn it.

One thing that I took away from this book was taking sabbatical time for my business.  As a result, every Friday I take off about 3:30 and go to the local Panera or Starbucks.  In these sessions I review my entire business plan and plan out my next week.  This has become one of my favorite times of the week and has increased my efficiency.


The Great Depression: A Diary by Benjamin Roth
The blog of Mr. Roth's day.  You can truly see how the "Depression Generation" formed their attitudes toward the government, banks, and spending.


The Way the World Works by Jude Wanniski
This book should be mandatory reading for all politicians.

Out of Egypt, Christ the Lord by Anne Rice
There is a moment in this book that I will always remember.  While sailing with His family from Egypt to Israel, the family start singing hymns to God.  What an incredible moment that would have the Creator of the Universe with them in the boat as they sing to the first person in the Trinity.


The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer
"Through fellowship and communion with the incarnate Lord," Bonhoeffer writes, "we recover our true humanity, and at the same time we are delivered from that individualism which is the consequence of sin, and retrieve our solidarity with the whole human race." 


When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die."  Enough said. 


The Screw Tape Letters by C.S. Lewis
Haunting, chilling, and perverse.  It's like being behind enemy lines.


With God in Russia by Walter Ciszek
This was an amazing story of faith, a lifetime mission, and a journey.  I felt like I was there with Father Ciszek in Russia in the 40's.  I was very impressed with his strong faith and sense of vocation as well as his service to people.

There are many more that I have not listed.  Currently, I'm reading a book that my wife gave me for Father's Day.  It's a little out of the norm from the listed books above.  It's from the view point of a salty world traveling chef and his take on the world.  

Track it!

Career
In one of the books that I read awhile back, it suggested that I track my time at work.  I started doing this about six months ago.  I expected to find how much time I spent making marketing calls, sitting in meetings, and working on administrative chores.  In truth, I found out that it drove me to be more efficient and get many more things accomplished.

You see, sometimes I sit there trying to figure out what I should do next and waste a great deal of time.  However, as soon as I write down what I just did, I immediately start looking for the next item to work on without worrying so much about if this is what I should accomplish next.

Along with this exercise, I have my daily "to-do" list ready as well as five bigger items that need my attention.  One last thing, blocking time for certain projects helps as well.

If you can track it, you can do it! 

Who do you Love?

The Faith / Spirituality


In my morning study of Genesis, the author stated, "A lack of love for God will inevitably result in a lack of love for one's fellow human being." How true this seems to be these days.  As society became more and more materialistic - materialistic in the sense of believing only in what exists - God became less and less an influence in our lives.

Is it any wonder how we treat our elderly and the unborn, how we entertain ourselves, what we consider important?  Because of our apathy, truth was the first casualty.

Three Guys Out

Long Term Goals


A couple of weeks ago I went out with two friends from my church.  It was a great time of Brazilian fare, good beer, and great camaraderie.  As it is with men my age the talk always transitions from current events to work to ideas.

This night was no different.  By the end of the night we were swapping ideas and dreaming of developing products that would make life easier for folks.  As I explained in a previous post, my wife gets to hear all about my crazy ideas. Therefore, it was good to know that there are others like myself that have this creative gene in their DNA.

As a result of this night, I have really focused on this pursuit. The benefits will be; to create a product that will help people, be somewhat revolutionary, and to provide for me and my family another income stream.  To aid me in this endeavor I researched book and found a book that might be able to help, One Simple Idea: Turn Your Dreams into a Licensing Goldmine While Letting Others Do the Work by Stephen Key.  This is a very interesting book that walks a budding inventor through the process of licensing their product or idea. Thus far it has been very informative and not some kind of "get rich quick" scheme.

As I right this entry I can see my inventor's log book justing waiting for me to add plans and prototypes.  This is one long term goal that is starting to develop. 

I Messed up and I'm Happy about It!!!

Long Term Goals


I just finished reading Little Bets by Peter Sims.  It was an interesting book that promotes the idea that  small ideas can lead to great success.  These little ideas start off in one shape and then can morph into something completely new, as long as we aren't afraid to make a mistake.

I think that has been one of my biggest weaknesses.  After reading this book, I see that taking small, calculated chances, is not all that bad.  Here are few excerpts from the book:

"Ingenious ideas rarely spring into people's minds fully formed: they emerge through a rigorous experimental discovery approach."

"By the time they are six and half years old they stop asking questions because they quickly learn that teachers value the right answers more than provocative questions."

"By expecting to get things right at the start, we block ourselves psychologically and choke off a host of opportunities to learn.  In placing so much emphasis on minimizing errors or the risk of any kind of failure, we shut of chances to identify the insights that drive creative progress."

When I look at any success I have achieved in my career, I'm reminded that it was usually a process of trial and error.  I hope I remember this in the future, especially in this economy.

Water over the Bulkhead

All Goals


Back in the late 90's President Clinton was waist deep in the Monica Lewinsky scandal.  During this time I remember there was much debate about whether the President's personal dealings had any bearing on this ability to lead and to be trusted.  I'm not totally convinced that it wouldn't have any affect.  Remember how he shook his finger at the television/American people and said, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."  However, a little later he would go back on TV and say that he did indeed have relations with her. The point of this is not cast the former president in a bad light. It is to illustrate that all of the areas of life flow into each other. If you can picture water pouring over the bulkheads of a ship, you get the idea. A  failure in his personal life affected him professionally; him lying to the American public.

As I have undertaken this blog of tracking and reporting my goals it has become clear to me that if one area of my life is affected, the others will be as well.  Basically, if you pay attention to one area, others will benefit, if neglect one area, another will be negatively impacted.  Here are a few examples:

If my wife and I were spendthrifts with a mountain of debt the results could be detrimental to our marriage. Money arguments would start to flair up as we tried paying our expenses.  Then, because money - or the lack there of - is always on my mind, I look desperate when I make calls on prospects and clients.  After not being able to pull in any new business I start to worry about getting fired and come home grumpy all the time and take it out on my family.

Let's say I stopped caring about my health.  Here's what will take place.  At my age everything is starting to slow down.  Because of this my cholesterol will shoot up if I don't' worry about eating healthy and stopped working out.  As a result of my declining health, my life insurance premiums would increase. Additionally, my energy level would decrease and would leave me not wanting to play with my child because I'm too tired. I suffer, but most importantly, my wife and child would as well.

In the area of faith, if I stopped my study of the Lord's Word and receiving His gifts my soul would be vulnerable.  I remember how St. Augustine explained the allure of the world and the war it rages against us:

But that new will which had begun to spring up in me freely to worship thee and to enjoy thee, O my God, the only certain Joy, was not able as yet to overcome my former willfulness, made strong by long indulgence. Thus my two wills--the old and the new, the carnal and the spiritual--were in conflict within me; and by their discord they tore my soul apart.

As you can see, everything is connected.  Let's get that water flowing.

Secret World

Family/Spouse


My wife and I celebrated out sixth anniversary last month.  For our anniversary we went and saw Peter Gabriel perform live in our home town. What made this show ironic was that on this same date six years prior, we danced our first two dances as a married couple to two of his songs.  It was an incredible performance and one that I have anticipated for many years.

As I looked back at our time together and reflected on the "married life" I remembered the live version of one my all-time favorite songs, "Secret World", and it happens to be by Peter Gabriel as well.  In this first clip below, Peter introduces the song by explaining how close a married couple can be and how they can disappear into their "Secret World."

Back when we were dating we would be close on the couch and talk and share things about ourselves.  I told her at that time that I had hoped that we would always be this close and that we would disappear into our secret world. Here we are six years later.  We are at the point were we can exchange a look or two words and know what the other is thinking.  We can tell by a touch what the other is feeling.  We can be quite and still be connected in our Secret World.....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCYXL86rdug&feature=related


I like this version a little better, but both are good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KN1zO-ejJvE&feature=related

The Transmission will Probably Fall Out Now

Personal Finance


Such is life that there will always be unexpected expenses and emergencies that require cash.  In the last year while trying to payoff our debt, I can't count the times that I had to debit our Emergency Fund.  How fortunate we were to have it in place although it wasn't large enough to cover one month's expenses.

As of our last pay day, we met our goal of having three months expenses in an account. It is because of this, that if a problem should arise, we won't have to worry about making a rash decision or use debt.  I have to admit, there is a great amount of peace of mine that comes with being debt free and having an emergency fund.

I can just imagine what is around the corner.  Oh, that's right, it's covered.  

Let's Get Honest

Career

Throughout my career and  in my personal life, I find that I compare myself to my co-workers and colleagues.  Nothing new here, we all do that to some degree.  However, it has been detrimental to me at times. There are times that it absolutely paralyzes me from being able to move forward.  You see, I sit there in meetings and listen to others talk and think, "Wow, that's incredible, I could have never come up with that."  I hate to say it, but these types of situations happen more than I care to admit.  This has to stop. 

I realized this problem a couple of years when I started taking inventory of my day.  This exercise has me at the end of every day writing down my wins and losses.  In these "sessions" I am honest with myself.  Honest in recognizing that I judge myself way too harshly by comparing myself to other people and honest in the sense of what I need to improve such as taking too many short cuts ie being lazy. 

In order to combat these short- comings, I decided to take action.  First, to overcome my self confidence issues I decided to join Toastmasters to be able to articulate my thoughts better. Second, I decided to study my field of business in order to become more knowledgeable about issues that affect my clients.  Lastly, I put in writing things that I have to work on and I review it daily.  After about two years of this I have seen much growth in my confidence. This has been evidenced many times by my manager and co-workers by the comments that they have made to me.

I have learned much over the last two years and because of this and as a result,  I have been more successful in achieving my goals.  However, there are times when that old voice whispers to me, "You fraud.  You have no idea what you are doing.  Don't you know that you aren't any good?"  That's alright.  This is to be expected.  This voice has been part of my life for many years and won't die an easy death. From now on when that voice starts with it's drivel, I will rely on the grace of those around me, make note of the error, and try to learn from it - just like everyone else. 

In the end how about if we set our standard by how much we learn from our mistakes and not by whom we know.

Something Bold

Long Term

Every once in awhile it is good to establish a goal that is almost unrealistic - one that is unabashedly crazy.  While sitting at my desk I thought to myself, "Why not strive to have a paid off house in 8-10 years?"  Yes, it's bold, but I think it can be done. 

You set the goal, establish a vision for achieving it, and then go after it.  Let's see where we are in ten.....

How quickly we Forget

Spirituality / The Faith

In the pursuit of our goals there will be step-backs, side tracks, failures, and times that we want to quit.  When these times present their ugly head we are prone to ask, "Why God, why me?" It is a normal response. Pain and suffering is something that we try to avoid - nothing wrong with that. 

However, when something good happens, why don't we say, "Why God, why me?"  I heard that a couple of days ago and I have pondered it ever since. 

5 Stars out of 5 Stars

Family / Spouse

My wife and I had a date night recently.  It was different from our usual outing.  Usually, we eat at one of our favorite restaurants then catch a movie. However, this time we decided to skip the movie and find a piano bar. After checking out a few piano bars we decided that it just wasn't happening.  We thought about it and decided to have drinks and dessert at a upscale hotel in our fair city.

The restaurant had a panoramic view of the entire city.  It was spectacular to say the least.  As we set there for about an hour and a half.  During this time, we talked for a little bit and other times we stayed quite and enjoyed a moment of peace in a busy life.  We'll have to do again soon. 

First Words

Spirituality / The Faith

As you can see from my Spirituality / The Faith goal page, my current goal is to study Genesis in the Bible and use a commentary as well.  In this morning's study of Genesis Chapter 2, the author of the commentary pointed out a couple of interesting facts that I had never considered.  Here is the verse before I proceed:

Genesis 2:21-23 (English Standard Version)21So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23Then the man said,

"This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man."

In verse 23 these are the first recorded words of man.  It is important to note that these words are in praise of the great and wonderful gift that was given to him; his wife.  The author further illustrates by saying, "Even though he'd been asleep, he understood where she had come from and what her relationship was to him. He rejoiced at this magnificent gift; he agreed with God that here was a helper suitable for him every way."

I might be taking license with this verse, but there may be some truth to this. With the formation of Eve out of the side of Adam, the first church was established.  Like our first parents on that first day of their church praised God for what He has done, we on Sunday mornings begin with a hymn of praise for what He has done for us as well.  Secondly, like the first church that was birthed out of the side of the first Adam, the second church was birthed out of the side of the second Adam.  This second birth provides salvation for all those who believe.



Note card

Career

My very first class that I took in college was Psychology 101. This is not important necessarily because of what I learned about psychology, but it something else entirely.  It was because of the instructor of this course that I learned how to study.  Looking back at it, I can't believe how simple his idea was.  He said you need to make up note cards after each class then flip through them once a day.  His theory was that by reviewing them once a day you wouldn't have to cram for finals. He was right.  As it turned out, I used this method throughout my entire college experience to much success. 

About a year ago I was approached by the director of a wealth management shop here in my town.  He was interested in me becoming a wealth management advisor for his firm.  Keep in mind that this position is not picking stocks for clients.  In this position I would go and find clients, develop a team around them, and then present what we can do for them.

While this position was very intriguing and the salary significant, I didn't proceed with the interview process. After looking back at that meeting, the reason that I didn't pursue the position was due to my own perceived lack of experience. However, from this meeting I decided that I wanted to become more of a wealth advisor for my clients and not just their banker.

In order to be seen in a new light I concluded that I needed more education in all things wealth management.  Right after that meeting  I ordered a book, Private Wealth Management, and tore right into it.  It was fascinating and difficult to read and I made it about a third of the way in about three months before I decided to read something else.

Recently, I finished three on-line classes that my employer offers.  After thinking about my next education opportunity, I decided to pick up that wealth management book again. This time it was going to be different in how I studied it. This time I made it a goal to study the book one chapter at a time, make note cards, and then flip through them once a day. This is just like my college days. 

To make time for studying, at the end of the work day I try to set aside about 1/2 hour.  Most days I can fit it in and as it turns out,  I have come to look forward to this time of my day.  Since starting this exercise,  I can sense my confidence growing; as evidenced by speaking out more often in client meetings.  This will be part of my career until the day I "retire."

Here's to the simple ideas.  Here's to a teacher from 1992. 

Smokin' in the Boys Room

Career

 The field that I'm in is very competitive.  Therefore, in my position as a wealth management advisor I'm always on the look out for new clients. With that in mind, I guess that it shouldn't surprise me that I actually met a prospect while washing my hands in the restroom of building where my office is located. 

I couldn't believe it.  Here I was talking about my division's wealth management capabilities to a potential million dollar client in the RESTROOM.  The longer I'm in this field, the more I believe that just showing up, being presentable, friendly, and somewhat knowledgeable, goes a long way. 

Here is what has happened since my chance meeting; I called the prospect, explained our capabilities, asked him about his current investment relationship, and set the appointment to introduce to our team. I wish it was always this easy.  However, the sale hasn't been made yet. 

Stepping up to the Plate

Self Improvement / Intellectual

I finally delivered my first speech of the year.  My goal was to give it by March 31st, therefore, I'm a little late.  It's kind of funny how this all came about.

For the last couple of weeks I have really wanted to give a speech.  However, the one I'm working wasn't ready. Then as luck would have it,  I received an email this morning.  My mentor asked me if I wanted to be a speaker today because we didn't have one. I thought about it and told him that I would.  There was only one problem, the only speech that I could give was one that I delivered a year ago. 

I stepped up to the podium, my heart pounding out of my chest, my palms were clammy and launched into it.  As it turned out, I was able to deliver it without my notes - I did use a different ending than the one written here.  I couldn't believe I was able to do it.  It wasn't perfect, but it went well and it built up my confidence.

Speech Title	“Our Greatest Fans”
Manual	The Competent Communicator Manual
Speech project	#6 – Vocal Variety
Time	5-7 Minutes
Purpose	Your voice has a major effect on your audience.  A lively, exciting voice attracts and keeps listeners' attention.  A speaking voice should be pleasant, natural, forceful, expressive and easily heard.  Use volume, pitch, rate and quality as well as appropriate pauses to reflect and add meaning and interest to your message.  Your voice should reflect the thoughts you are presenting.
Project Objectives	§   Use voice volume, pitch, rate and quality to reflect and add meaning and interest to your message. §   Use pauses to enhance your message. §   Use vocal variety smoothly and naturally.

Bang!! The starter pistol fires opening the 400 meter sprint in the 1992 Summer Olympics. 

The runners tear down the track as 65,000 fans cheer them on.  Derek Redmond, the favored, is out in the lead after the first 100 meters.  This was his second Olympics.  Back in the ’88 Games about ten minutes before the race, he had to pull out because of Achilles tendon tear. If he only hangs on for the next 175 meters he will win the race and would fulfill dream of Olympic Gold.  Then it happened. The unthinkable. As he was striding down the track in the lead he heard a pop in his right hamstring.

As he lies on the track he realizes that his dream is over, but he thinks of doing the impossible – finish the race.  Derek waves off the medical crew who come with the stretcher and in searing pain he starts down the track to the roar of cheering fans.

About this time an older man starts pushing his way through the crowd of fans, jumps over the wall, and without any credentials he by passes security. He says to them, “That’s my son out there and he needs my help!”

With about 120 meters from the finish Jim Redmond reaches his son, and wraps his arm around his waist. "I'm here, son," Jim says softly, hugging his boy. "We'll finish together." Derek puts his arms around his father's shoulders and sobs.

Together, father and son, they make their way down the track to the sound of the 65,000 clapping, cheering, crying fans.  With a couple of meters to go, Jim releases his hold on his son to allow him to finish the race under his own power.

Mr./Madam Toastmaster, fellow Toastmasters, and welcome guests.

I once heard it said that no one is self made.  On the contrary, we are merely the products of countless words of encouragement, pats on the back, and hours of instruction.  If we are fortunate, we all have these types of people in our lives.  Derek Redmond certainly did with his father. You could say that the people who provide this support are our Greatest fans.  How about you, who is yours?    Mine is my dad.

It was 1983 and I was in eighth grade.  During these years my dad was an over the road truck driver.  He would be gone all week going to California, New York, Texas, anywhere that people needed Jimmy Dean pork sausage.  In those days the only time that I saw my dad was on the weekends and very rarely during the week. 

At this time in my life I played forward for my school’s basketball team.  Although I was gifted with height, I was remarkably very average on the court.    That didn’t matter to my dad; he was disappointed that he wasn’t able to make any of my games. 

There was one time that he made it back home in the middle of the week.  It just happened to be on game night and he was incredibly excited to be able to attend.  The night was like any other game night.  We started with lay-ups, free throws, and a three person passing drill.  Then the game started.  I wasn’t starting that game, but I knew that I would be brought in later on to give my teammates a break. 

The first quarter went by and I was still sitting on the bench. Then the second started and I started to worry that I wouldn’t get any playing time. All the time sitting there waiting for my chance, I kept trying to make eye contact with coach in order for him to put me in – I couldn’t wait to play for my dad. The third quarter started and after substitutions were made, there I was, still sitting there.  I thought to myself, “Surely he will put me in the fourth.”  About half way through the last quarter it became apparent that I wasn’t going to be playing.  

After the game ended we ran back into the locker room to shower and change back into our street clothes.  I’m not sure why I needed a shower, I barely broke a sweat.  As I was running in, I noticed my dad talking to my coach.  It didn’t look like a pleasant conversation.  On our way to the car my dad explained to me what they were discussing.  He was letting my coach no in no uncertain terms that he was greatly disappointed that his son didn’t get any playing time and that he had waited for this night for a very long time. 

I couldn’t believe my ears. What was he thinking?   My dad sensed my turmoil and explained to me that one day I would understand. At that time it didn’t matter, my dad just embarrassed me and I was afraid that the coach would retaliate.  However, quite the opposite took place.  The next day, my coach gathered the team after practice and apologized for not playing certain players.  He didn’t mention me by name; however, I played the entire next game.  Unfortunately, my dad was back on the road and wasn’t able to make that one. 

As I have grown older and now have a child of my own, I can understand why my dad had that conversation with my coach.  I don’t know if I will do any different than my father did on that night. There are times throughout my day that I daydream about watching my daughter perform in sports, academia, or whatever her talent affords and hope she knows that I’m her biggest fan. 

A couple of months after my dad went to be with the Lord, I ran into a lady that knew him. She asked me how he was doing. I told her that he had passed.  She was surprised and was sad to hear it.  However, she went on to tell me something that I will remember for the rest of my life.  She said, “You know, your father thought the world of you.  Every time he came in here he would always talk about you.  I swear he thought that you hung the moon in the sky.”

There have been many times since that day at the store that I wished he was here.  Wishing that he was here to hear about my promotion at work, to ask his advice, to hear him say, “Don’t let the bastards grind you down” and “You know where you can find sympathy in the dictionary son?” and “Remember, only guppies eat their young.” I wish he was here to hold his grand daughter, to help me finish my races……. to be my dad.

After thinking about all of these things, maybe I was his greatest fan. Maybe I just miss having certain fans in the bleachers cheering for me. 

Mr./Madam Toastmaster, fellow Toastmasters.

Say IT!

Self Improvement / Intellectual

Sometimes in the pursuit of a goal, you will have set backs.  I had one the other day at Toastmasters.  During the meeting I was asked to come up and speak during the Table Topics portion.  During Table Topics the appointed host will ask members to come forward to answer whatever question the host asks.  The purpose of this exercise to is work on our extemporaneous speaking skills.

On this occasion I spoke about the Day of Resurrection.  While giving a passionate explanation of the day my heart starting pumping out of chest, my voice quivered, and I almost couldn't get out what I wanted to say.  It was probably one of the worst Table Topics speech I have ever given in my two years of attending. 

Two days latter at a luncheon the same thing almost happened again; this time I was with a client. At my table there was a minister and her husband and a gentleman from our local public television station.  While we were making small talk the topic of religion came up and I was asked my opinion regarding a certain subject.  As I presented my case my heart started pumping, adrenaline coursed through me, and I started feeling a little nervous.  I thought to myself, "Oh no!  Not again!"

One thing is clear after these two days - I need to understand that if I'm talking about my faith, be careful.

7

The Faith / Spirituality

Many years ago my pastor told me, "There are only two kinds of religion in this world; the two letter-kind and the four letter-kind."  When I heard this I was very intrigued that all religions could be narrowed down to just two schools of thought. He went on to explain that the two letter-kind is the word "do" which means what you must do in order to make it to heaven or an elevated place in the next life.  The four letter-kind is "done" that is what has been done for you because you can't "do." 

Good Friday is here.  This is the day that we observe what has been done for us.  This sacrifice of ours to our God - one that He provided - is for the atonement of our sins.  While atonement was being made for us by Jesus, He said the following from our cross:

THE FIRST WORD "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do." Gospel of Luke 23:34

How many times have we been wronged for the slightest offense and hold back forgiveness. However, He took the punishment that was ours.

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THE SECOND WORD "Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise." Gospel of Luke 23:43

We often hold our tongues rather than proclaim the Gospel to our neighbors. However, He is the Gospel and freed the captives by taking our punishment.

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THE THIRD WORD "Jesus said to his mother: "Woman, this is your son".
Then he said to the disciple: "This is your mother." Gospel of John 19:26-27

Throughout our lives we have despised and held back honor from our parents. Jesus died for this sin. He loved His mother and provided for her from the cross.

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THE FOURTH WORD "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
Matthew 27:46 and Mark 15:34

Many times we forsake God. Jesus would pray this Psalm when God could not look upon Him and would do for us what we could not.

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THE FIFTH WORD "I thirst"
Gospel of John 19:28

In the Beatitudes, Jesus said, "Blessed are you that hunger and thirst for righteousness." When we should thirst for the gifts of God, we drink from what this world has to offer. Jesus poured out His blood to for us to satisfy our souls by cleansing us from all sin.

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THE SIXTH WORD When Jesus had received the wine, he said,
"It is finished";
and he bowed his head and handed over the spirit.
Gospel of John 19:30

PAID IN FULL!!! For all that we could not do and for all that we have done. DONE!

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THE SEVENTH WORD   Jesus cried out in a loud voice,
"Father, into your hands I commend my spirit": Gospel of Luke 23:46

On the last day we will cry out the same because of Him and what He has Done for us.

Who on the tree of the cross didst give salvation unto mankind that, whence death arose, thence Life also might rise again; and that he who by a tree once overcame might likewise by a tree be overcome, through Christ, our Lord; through whom with angels and archangels and with all the company of heaven we laud and magnify Thy glorious name, evermore praising Thee......

Driving past a church the other day I noticed the message on their sign. It said, "While Jesus was on the cross, you were on His mind."