Listen to your Father

Family/Spouse

One of my goals is to prepare a question and answer book for my child(ren).  I've been working on this throughout the year and I don't really have a deadline to finish it.  The questions are very good and address just about every stage of my life.  Here are a couple:

• What Childhood Experiences do you feel shaped you the most?
• Describe your childhood neighborhood
• What is your favorite way to spend a day of leisure?

In addition to the questions in the book I added another section.  This section addresses the most significant areas of our lives and my advice for each category.  The following is a list of the areas where I give advice and some things, but not all, that I want remembered:

Random things that I always want you to remember

My child, here is a list of things that I have learned over my years. Just because I have listed these things to remember, I do not want you to think that I mastered them.  Everything you do in your life can be placed in one these areas; The Faith, Relationships, Career, Health, Personal Finance, When looking for a spouse, Intellectual, miscellaneous.  

  The Faith

§              8but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 

            Romans 5:8 English Standard Version (ESV) <This is the Gospel in a "nutshell."  When the understanding of the faith becomes difficult, return to this. 

• Try to study the Word every day.  Your study doesn’t need to be an hour long.  Our days are very hectic.  Therefore, try reading a chapter or two from the Bible daily if you are really short on time.  Maybe review the readings for the next Sunday. Always remember, this in an extremely important part of your day.
• Everyone goes about his or her faith life differently.  Focus on yours and be careful not to judge others, for you never know what is going on in their private life.
• It is 8.28.2011.  As I write this, your mother is getting ready for church and you are watching Thomas the Tank engine.  I look over at you and realize that you may walk away and even deny the faith in your teens and 20’s.  I did in my 20’s and I will always have regrets about my life away from the Lord.  However, I always remember His Presence during those times.  He never left me and He will never leave you.
• Beware of old philosophies that are disguised as new.  Your college professors and some of your friends want your mind and want to convince you that you are a simpleton for believing in your Christ.  Instead of getting mad at them, pray for them, for they are only doing what unbelievers do.

Your Country

• The United States of America is the greatest country ever.  We are not great because of our wealth, for it is only a result of what truly makes us great – it is our freedom.  When I say “freedom” I am saying that freedom means we have the ability and obligation to do what is right.  We however, never have the freedom to choose the wrong.
• If you see a soldier and have an opportunity, thank this person for their service to our great country. Don't' forget to thank their husband or wife as well.  They were supporting the soldier at home while  the soldier was off protecting our country. 
• Whenever you are in attendance at an event where the National Anthem is playing, put your right hand over your heart and be quiet.  Consider the blessings this county affords to you and all that went before us to win and secure them.  

Relationships / Your neighbor / Your parents/ 

• Your name and honor is worth more than any amount of money.  Protect it with all of your might. Just look at the last paragraph of the Declaration of Independence to see proof of the importance of your name. 
    And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.
• At a certain age you will see your parents as they really are; imperfect people.  Love them anyway.  Don’t forget, you will probably be a parent one day yourself.
• If someone is serving you, treat them with the highest amount of dignity and respect. I don’t care if you become a celebrity or the President.  Everyone has value and nobody is beneath you. The Christ that died for your sins, died for theirs as well.
• Be humble but not a pushover.  
• Imitate Christ.

Your Career

• When you are facing a problem that requires your supervisor’s assistance, come to him or her with what you think is the solution. Your grandfather taught me this. 
• It has been said, “If you help people get what they want, they will give you what you want.”
• Never forget, in your career you are serving someone.  It’s a high calling to be in the service of another.  
• Currently, business people are considered the “bad guys.”  If you think about it, most business is done in an ethical manner.  
• Today we were watching trains - your favorite things at this moment - move freight.  I got to thinking about it and if you were older I would ask you this question, "What do you see here? Do you see trains, freight, and tracks only?"  I would tell you that I see "trust."  Someone first trusted before anything was started.  Therefore, you see, business in someways, is a spiritual exercise. Trust is paramount to doing good business.  

Health

• Try to work out a couple of times weekly.  Even if it’s a light work out, it’s good to get movin’.
• Don't ever do drugs, ever!  Contrary to what many believe, marijuana usually leads to other drug use.  I have seen this up close and personal with people I know.  

  Personal Finances

•  God owns it all. You are just a manager.  “Be diligent with the little things…..”
•  Stay away from all debt except in some ways a mortgage and if that mortgage is less than 25% of your monthly take home pay.
•  Consumer debt and not budgeting is one of the main reasons why the middle class is broke.  It took me well into my 30’s to understand this.  For validation of this, read The Millionaire Next Door. 
• These days, everyone wants to rely on the government to fix his or her life.  You are responsible for your life.  Yes, the government can help, but you have all the tools to make a life for yourself.  Don’t’ become a slave to the government with low expectations of yourself and your country.  This is the United States of America and you have the opportunity to become a success in your own way. 
• Be a cheerful giver.  That means all of yourself; time, talent, and treasure. 
• Cash is "king."
• Have an emergency fund of 3-6 months of monthly expenses.

When looking for a spouse and how to treat this person 

•  Look for character first, not a “character.”
• Remember, beauty on the outside is not the same as inner-beauty.  I remember a story about your beautiful mother that illustrates this - she has both.  On our wedding day your mother noticed that the photographer wasn't going to eat and that a place wasn't made for her to sit at a table.  Your mom found a table with some of our friends for her and asked the waiter to bring her a plate.  
• If faith is – and it better be – important to you, don’t marry someone from outside your denomination.  I know this is a hard lesson.  However, if you get involved with someone of a different faith or denomination, there will be many problems ahead. Don’t hope that this person will magically come around. Yes, there are times that it has worked, but it will be an enormous challenge.  Marriage is under assault today, don't add to it.  

Intellectual/Self Improvement

• Make goals; short term and long term.  Most people don’t, therefore, they know exactly where they are going.
• Become a reader.  It has been said that leaders are readers.  

Misc.

• If you want self esteem, do something. If you fail at it, good!  That is how we learn.  You earn self esteem, it is not given to you.
• Watch your passions - especially your appetites.  Make sure they don’t control you.  Stay disciplined in your thinking.
• When trying to make a decision or after you made a bad decision, always ask yourself, "What is the real reason why I did it like that?"  Know yourself......

This is just a start for me and I'm certain to add to it as the years go by.  If you have any suggestions, even funny ones, please feel free to send them to me.  I can still remember my dad saying, "Remember, only guppies eat their young."  How about this timeless one, "It's colder out there than a well digger's..."  Now my favorite, "Son remember the family motto; don't let the bastards grind you down." See, I still remember what my father said.  

Ok, so I Will Stop it...

All Goals


A couple of weeks ago I posted an article from Jim Collins that dealt with goals.  This article pointed out that we should not only have goals that we want to achieve, but have goals of things that we want to stop or avoid.

I pointed out in that earlier entry that there are certain habits, traits, and ways of thinking that hinder us from achieving our goals.  With that in mind, here are a few things that I want to stop in 2012:

1. The Internet
Stop wasting so much time surfing for no reason.  This is not a very efficient use of my time.

2. Stop trying to focus on too many goals
Keep it simple in all areas where I'm trying to achieve short term goals.

3. Eliminate negative thoughts about myself.
"Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right." Henry Ford

4. Stop doing tasks that my coordinator can take care of for me.  
I have a new assistant.  However, there are too many times that I keep certain tasks on my desk.  I need to trust more in order to free up my time to chase after more income producing activities.

5. Stop focusing too much on the end game and more on the "ride" and journey. 

 "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." F. Bueller

6. Stop letting decisions and attitudes of others and my company affect my outlook.

I can only control what I think.  There is only so much that I can influence in others.  Just the other day I listened to a negative person at work whine (there is a much better word I want to use here) about the old days.  That dude just stole :15 minutes of my day and I let him!

7. Stop staying up if I'm tired.
It's probably a more efficient use of my time to go to bed when I'm tired instead of "working" on something.  Granted, there are times when I'm tired at 8:00.  That's a little too early to hit the sheets and I will probably get a second wind anyway.  However, when 10:30 rolls around and I'm tired - GO TO BED!

8. Stop making short term decisions that impede long term results.
That sounds like some corporate-speak, and quite frankly it is.  It does make sense both personally and professionally.  I'm trying to think of a good example and all I can think of is the Debt Crisis of 2008.  Many financial institutions focused on short term profits at the expense of their credit quality.  As a result, many long time historic institutions crashed.

Well, I only came up with eight things thus far.  I should probably have ten items like every other list, but I quit doing that last year.

A Locker Room Talk

The Faith


"Gentlemen, this is a football."  With these words Coach Lombardi takes his players back to basics.  "Dearly beloved of the Lord, this is the Catechism." With these words our pastor brings us back to basics.

I don't remember exactly when it happened, but I wasn't impressed with an answer I gave to someone who asked me about the faith.  From my less than stellar response and most recently feeling that I was growing dull in the faith, I decided that I need to get back to basics.  What better place to start than the Lutheran Catechism.

Every morning after my study of a portion of Genesis - one that has seemed to take a very long time - I dive into the study of our church's doctrine.  Currently I'm in the commandments and between them there is usually a lesson on the Divine Service as well.

When you can't push the ball past the goal line, your line is breaking down, and you can't make a tackle, get back to basics.

First Things First

Career


A couple of weeks ago while advancing in my goal to read an article that discusses my vocation, I came across this quote:


Herb Kelleher
"Years ago, business gurus used to apply the business school conundrum to me: 'Who comes first? Your shareholders, your employees, or your customers?' I said, 'Well, that's easy,' but my response was heresy at that time. I said employees come first and if employees are treated right, they treat the outside world right, the outside world uses the company's product again, and that makes the shareholders happy. That really is the way that it works, and it's not a conundrum at all."
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/5693896


While reading this I was expecting him to say that the customer comes first.  I was greatly taken back when  he said the employee comes first.  What a novel concept!  Everything I have read about business, management, or customer service leads to this concept even if they don't say it directly.

After reading this I was blunt enough to ask the director of my group the question that was asked of Herb.  The director pondered it for a good long while.  I don't blame this person if for not trying to answer the question right away.  However, after we went on with our conversation about the organization and what our values are, it became increasingly apparent that it is in fact the employee that should come first.  Amazing!

With this in mind, anytime I interview for a position at another institution or talk to a client about their business, I will always remember what is most important.

Not Nice to Point?

Family


You probably remember an earlier post where I stated that one of my goals was to prepare a "Father" book for my child(ren).  This book is in a question and answer format that allows the author to explain who they are, where they came from, and what they hold near and dear.

I was writing an entry recently and thought about something I taught my child.  Back when she just started talking I would ask her, "Who loves you?"  In turn, she would always point back to me.  From time to time I still do this with her and most of the time she still points back at me.

I'm sure this will probably fall out of favor as she grows older.  However, it will probably make a magical appearance when she becomes a mom and thinks back fondly of the little "game" her father used to play with her.


 I can also imagine the tough times she will face and many of those times without me being there for her.  In those times when she wishes someone would ask her, "Who loves you?", hopefully she will point to the One on the cross+; that is my goal.