Intellectual/ Self Improvement
Goal: Deliver three speeches by year end
I delivered my first speech of the year today. I had some good moments and I had some that showed me where I need to work harder. As with every speech, I learn a lit bit more about public speaking and my confidence is strengthened.
In Toastmasters when a speech is given, there is always an evaluator. My evaluator today was a seasoned Toastmaster as well as a professional story teller - I always listen closely to what he has to say. Here is what he concluded about my delivery:
Strengths:
- Projected sincerity and conviction
- I was a credible source for what I was talking about
- I had the willingness to "stretch" in terms of a topic and to show my convictions
- He was persuaded to accept my viewpoint
- Good organization
Weaknesses and areas of improvement:
- My hands were too fidgety
- Needed more emotion
- Needed more of an emotional conviction in the conclusion
- Talk a little bit slower (this was because my speech was too long for the allotted time, my mistake)
Here is a copy of the speech. I didn't deliver it exactly like this, but fairly close. I'm probably going to edit it and give it one more time for practice. I was happy with the over feel of it, but there are portions that needed cutting out and spots that need to flow better.
Speech Title | He that Looketh |
Manual | The Competent Communicator Manual |
Speech project | Project #9 – Persuade with Power |
Time | 5-7 Minutes |
Project Objectives | § Persuade listeners to adopt your viewpoint or ideas or to take some action. § Appeal to the audiences’ interests § Use logic and emotion to support your position § Avoid using notes |
Introduction – State the problem/solution
Have you ever been asked a question that you weren’t anticipating?
Mr. /Mrs. Toastmaster, my fellow toastmasters, and welcome guests. A couple of years ago I was asked to be a substitute teacher for the high school Bible study at my church. Most of the time that I taught it went off with out the kids asking me any questions that I couldn’t answer, however, there was one class that really challenged me.
I prepared my lesson plan by reading the appointed Bible passages, looked up a couple of theological positions, and was ready. When I walked into the room I noticed something kind of odd; it was all girls. There wasn’t a boy in site. “Ok, no big deal.” I thought to myself. “Maybe I will get through the entire lesson since there weren’t boys trying to impress the young ladies or disrupting the class.
I said the opening prayer and started into the lesson. Before I could get out one sentence, one of the girls wanted to ask me a question. I said, “Sure, what’s on your mind?” She said they didn’t want to talk about theology, but wanted to ask me questions. Sensing that there was something on her mind, I told her to proceed. She asked, “How far is too far with a boy?” I didn’t lose my composure, but I can tell you, I was completely knocked out of my comfort zone.
What was I going to tell them? Here I was, a single man in his thirties; basically in the same position because I was out dating like them. With all these female eyes on me, I started down that difficult path.
This was a difficult conversation. However, it is the one class that I still remember to this day. I don’t necessarily remember it because of the provocative question that was posed to me. You see, every time I think about that day I am reminded of one thing - listen to me closely my fellow Toastmasters and guests; our daughters, wives, sisters, and mothers are under assault!
Yes, you heard me correctly; they are being assaulted daily by men, marketing agencies, and other women trying to push forward their idea of beauty. How might you ask? Just walk through any mall past a Victoria’s Secret store with their window displays. Look at the Abercrombie & Fitch catalog. For a catalog that sells clothes, their models seem to be not wearing any. Now the latest, they are marketing a push up bra to girls as young as eight. Also, just look at any show on TV or the movies where they are pushing the limits. Think a trip to the grocery store is safe for them? Think again. There are magazine covers that would give Playboy a run for it’s money. It seems no place is safe.
Most people just turn a “blind eye” to these exploitations without even considering the many ramifications that follow. Some counter and say, “What are you talking about? What’s the problem? Abortion and teen pregnancies are down over the last twenty years. ” While that is true, these are just two aspects of teen sexuality. In 2007 the American Psychological Association Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls issued a report linking early sexualization with three of the most common mental-health problems of girls and women: eating disorders, low self-esteem, and depression. As women, teens, and young girls become more and more objectified, there are emotional costs as well as other physical risks that will result.
According to Dr. Meg Meeker’s book Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters:
11.9% of females will experience forced intercourse
46.7% of students will be sexually active before high school ends
Engaging in sex puts girls at a higher risk for depression
We have a problem. Society has become signalized to the point that women are seen too often as sexual objects. The sexual revolution that was supposed to free women has actually enslaved them to a devastating view of what it means to be feminine.
What’s the answer? Many years ago it was in vogue to say, “It takes a village to raise a child.” While there may be a little truth to that, in reality, the “village” is sick and rotten to the core. Therefore, it really starts with the family. It starts with mothers and fathers standing up against society by demanding a higher standard that says modesty, humility, proper self-confidence and dignity still matter. You can do something, we can do something, I can do something about the filth in our society.
Body – Present solutions
The return to modesty and humility
One person that stood up to society is Nicole Weider. Ms. Weider was tired of seeing Cosmopolitan magazine at eye level of children with headlines such as “75 Sex Moves” and “His Best Sex Ever.” As a former reader she was appalled at what she was reading in the magazine with its’ pornographic content. In August 2011 she had enough and decided to do something about it.
To take the culture back, Ms. Weider started a petition to have the magazine sold in a non-transparent wrapper and not to anyone under 18. Additionally, she contacted the Chairman of the FTC to lodge a formal complaint.
To date she has received many letters and emails of support from young women. In these letters they explain that they had tried some of the things listed in the magazine and received STDs, broken hearts, became pregnant, and had their self-esteem severely damaged.
Ms. Weider understands that young women need to be taught that beauty is not what Cosmo prescribes. No, that magazine and the world teach self-centeredness and love of self. Ms. Weider knew that someone needed to protect some of the most vulnerable among us and wanted to do something. It started with one woman standing up for other women and saying, “This is not what it means to be beautiful, feminine, and valued.”
Their bodies are sacred
In returning to modesty and humility, young women and girls will understand that their bodies are sacred and that they are not a means to an end. In a recent study, it was discovered that only 15 percent of teens report remaining virgins until the age of 21. Is it any wonder that according to the Center for Disease Control, 16.2% of people 14 to 49 years of age have genital HSV-2 infection?
Our bodies are sacred. Remember that Bible study I mentioned earlier? To answer the young ladies question I was able to direct them to a passage from 1 Corinthians. This passage explains that their bodies are of value and something to be protected and cherished.
1 Corinthians 6:19-21 (English Standard Version)
19Or(
A) do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?(
B) You are not your own, 20(
C) for you were bought with a price.(
D) So glorify God in your body.
A pastor I know explains it this way and I used his example with the girls, “When we receive Holy Communion we use a special cup. This cup is set aside for special-holy use. We don’t drink beer from it or carelessly handle it. Likewise, your body is sacred and something that you don’t cheapen by sleeping around.” ( I left this paragraph out when I delivered the speech)
Even if you don’t come from a faith background, you have to agree that the body is not meant for casual sexual encounters. There are too many dangers associated with these activities; unwanted pregnancies, diseases, and emotional scars to name a few.
The Importance of Fathers
Fathers, I don’t want to leave you out. First of all, fathers, we have an obligation to help protect your daughters from themselves.
Have you seen the new Quik Trip commercial? It’s the one where the father is waiting for his teen age daughter to finish dressing in order for them to leave for the day. As he stands at the bottom of the stairs his daughter comes down from her room in a revealing outfit. This happens about three times and with every incident, the father looks at her with a disapproving look and sends her back to her room to change. However, the last time she comes down she has on sweat pants and baggy shirt. He gives her an approving glance and then she walks past him. As she does, he notices something written on the seat of her sweat pants, “Kapow.” Ladies and gentlemen, this is a funny example; however, it illustrates a simple teachable moment - the father stood up for his daughter by protecting her from herself.
Additionally, fathers, we have a great responsibility daughters in the way we model appropriate love with women. In my copy of Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, given to me by my mother in law, she wrote the following to me, “You are the first man your daughter will love. This relationship will be the foundation of all other relationships she has with the men in her life.” How true.
If you want your daughter to find the right man to marry, be the right man for her mother. A girl witnessing her mother being loved and elevated by her father will naturally want and seek out the same for herself.
Conclusion
Maybe things will swing back to a more modest culture as people become so desensitized; probably not. I think things will only get worse. As people become less able to be shocked, they will seek out and will find more shocking ways to degrade and objectify women.
Should we just give into the culture? By all means no. It takes simple teachable moments to protect our children from themselves. It takes someone like Ms. Weider standing up for young women and the current standard by challenging stores and the FTC. It takes you and me to battle against a perverse society and demand better. It has been said many times, “In order for evil to triumph, all that has to happen is for good people to do nothing.” So good people, what do you plan on doing?
